December 31st of 2019, and time to make up some resolutions....or not. I find the word "resolution" itself more than intimidating, and even a bit scary so I want to get something straight here: to resolve does not mean to change, and change is the outcome of a resolve. Resolve is intention, change is to act upon resolve.
Assuming it is, what makes change so difficult? Including myself, I notice in people the same patterns year after year, even and especially when they want to change something. Change is personal; therefore, it is hard to do.
Some changes are obvious, like the picture above. I have changed over the last few years (lines on face, etc.), and Angus used to be a baby! Those are naturally occurring changes, visible from the outside; so what about on the inside? There is plainly no easy way to change, and I think most people want a simple, quick, and done deal, like in maybe a week or two. Hasn't worked for me yet!
Scientifically speaking, it is a fact that the more you do something, whether positive or negative, the more you will continue to do it because a pattern of thinking develops, and the channels in the brain deepen as the years go by. (That's the scary part!) No, don't stop reading!
Of course, there is more than one type of change, brought on by life events such as a sudden disaster or a spiritual force, both of which will cause one to become more motivated during the process of change. For example, my husband had a spiritual awakening around the age of 27, and he immediately quit using tobacco, a habit of 15 years! However, the desire to smoke took longer to overcome but the resolve won out.
I have no handy hints or suggestions here. I have lived long enough to notice that people tend to resolve but fall short of change. Not to sound negative, but has anyone ever wanted you to change something about yourself or in someone else but they don't seem too interested in what they need to change? It is simply easier to spot the shortcomings of others but not the ones in ourselves.
What I do believe in is progress, and progress is a process which is never instant or painless. It also requires careful planning. My husband stopped smoking, and avoided even touching tobacco products and used the word "no." He had a plan.
Ok, a little humor please! For years, I have tried to be a morning person like some of my friends...you know, cheerful and chatty in the a.m. and sound asleep by 10 p.m.? I admire them! But every time I worked on this, it was a fail, at least to a degree. I did manage to force myself to at least not act as grumpy as I felt, and this was progress. I have now decided that I am ok not being 'Miss Happy' in the morning but I also will make you coffee cheerfully. I plainly don't 'turn on' until after the noon hour!
The point here is to know yourself, to think through what to keep and what to give away (out with the old, in with the new!), and work towards a goal, however slow or frustrating it may be, so that you have accomplished something, whether it is learning a new skill, stopping a habit, or working on a character trait. And like you've been hearing for years now, you can do it!
