REALITY 101 #1

 

     Watching and waiting, mesmerized by the mysterious greatness of the ocean, I thought of walking in, much like Edna in the short story by Kate Chopin called "The Awakening."  It was a day, moment which should not have been.  A mistake, a 'what if.'  

     Walking into the ocean isn't something I seriously would do; I only romanticized the idea because of a sudden tragedy which the occurrence of another would change nothing.  The headlines would read like this:  "Local women drowns after her dog is killed by a hit-and-run."  Or:  "Tragedy strikes twice for one distraught local man."  Besides, I was a little afraid of deep water, the way Edna had been before she learned to swim.  

       My reality that day was this:  my little dog was gone forever; there was no way to change or reconcile it; I had to go through it.

     It happened so fast, a moment in time, less than two minutes, resulting from the carelessness of another dog's owner...and our dog's panic; in his panic he slipped out of his collar, ran, and was killed instantly by a car.  

      As I ran to the top of the hill and toward the main road, there he lay, still, on the road's center, his beautiful white fur splayed about him, not a mark on his body.  I thought being chased by the other dog had caused him to faint.  But no, he was gone; as I picked him up, I felt no heartbeat.  Our little miracle gift pup was dead, and I had to walk home, leash in hand, and tell my husband.  

     Whenever I walk by where our dog had his last breath, I am reminded of the kindness of the other dog's owners, how they drove me to the veterinarian, paid the vet to examine my dog, and extended their apologies for what was not their fault.  There was no fault; accidents happen but kindness alone could not make up for the loss of our dog.  It is part of life.  My husband had to be told, I did not walk into the ocean, and eventually we found us another lovely dog.

      Do I believe there is a reason for everything?  No, I don't.  Sometimes things just happen because they happen. What we do with it thereafter is what matters.  Do I believe God is in everything, and doesn't waste a hurt?  Yes, I do.  "He comforts us when we are in trouble, so we can share the same comfort with others in trouble..."  (2 Corinthians 1:4-5)

      I have a friend who believes our animals will be in heaven, and we will see them again.  And why not?  God made animals for us to take care of, to love, for comfort, and it is up to me to share this same comfort with others who have lost a pet.

A MOMENT IN TIME

Everything is a moment in time, then it is gone.  And whether good or bad, the moment is logged away as a memory to be pulled out, talked about, to laugh or cry over, then stored away again.

A friend gave this sweater to me, new with tags, and trying it on, I looked in the mirror, and was taken back to a time years ago, something that made me laugh all over again.

During our first years, my husband, James, found himself looking for work, going to interviews, and learning about himself and others along the way.

One day, he was called for an interview, something very exciting because this was the 80's, a time of recession and job-scarcity.  So we decided he needed a new suit for this special occasion, and off he went to the local Sears store, where he found just the right one, brought it home, and hung it up.

Finally, it was interview day!  On went the new, gray suit and shined up shoes, and out the door to be on time and ready to impress...

After about two hours, James returned, ready to tell me about the interview so I sat down opposite him while he, standing, began telling his story in the usual way, moving around and raising his arms as he talked.  I watched while listening when suddenly I noticed something hanging from the armpit of his suit jacket, much like in the above picture.  Staring, an image came into my mind of him being interviewed, tag waving about as he answered questions, perhaps the interviewer trying not to notice, and I began to laugh, showing him the tag we forgot to snip away from the suit, price still clearly showing, and he started laughing as well.  It was a great and memorable moment in time, one we still laugh about today.

CHANGE. WHAT'S YOURS LIKE?

  December 31st of 2019, and time to make up some resolutions....or not.  I find the word "resolution" itself more than intimidating, and even a bit scary so I want to get something straight here:  to resolve does not mean to change,  and change is the outcome of a resolve.  Resolve is intention, change is to act upon resolve.  

Assuming it is, what makes change so difficult?  Including myself, I notice in people the same patterns year after year, even and especially when they want to change something.  Change is personal; therefore, it is hard to do.

Some changes are obvious, like the picture above.  I have changed over the last few years (lines on face, etc.), and Angus used to be a baby!  Those are naturally occurring changes, visible from the outside; so what about on the inside?  There is plainly no easy way to change, and I think most people want a simple, quick, and done deal, like in maybe a week or two.  Hasn't worked for me yet!

Scientifically speaking, it is a fact that the more you do something, whether positive or negative, the more you will continue to do it because a pattern of thinking develops, and the channels in the brain deepen as the years go by.  (That's the scary part!)  No, don't stop reading!

Of course, there is more than one type of change, brought on by life events such as a sudden disaster or a spiritual force, both of which will cause one to become more motivated during the process of change.  For example, my husband had a spiritual awakening around the age of 27, and he immediately quit using tobacco, a habit of 15 years!  However, the desire to smoke took longer to overcome but the resolve won out.

I have no handy hints or suggestions here.  I have lived long enough to notice that people tend to resolve but fall short of change.  Not to sound negative, but has anyone ever wanted you to change something about yourself or in someone else but they don't seem too interested in what they need to change?  It is simply easier to spot the shortcomings of others but not the ones in ourselves.  

What I do believe in is progress, and progress is a process which is never instant or painless.  It also requires careful planning.  My husband stopped smoking, and avoided even touching tobacco products and used the word "no."  He had a plan.

Ok, a little humor please!  For years, I have tried to be a morning person like some of my friends...you know, cheerful and chatty in the a.m. and sound asleep by 10 p.m.?  I admire them!  But every time I worked on this, it was a fail, at least to a degree.  I did manage to force myself to at least not act as grumpy as I felt, and this was progress.  I  have now decided that I am ok not being 'Miss Happy' in the morning but I also will make you coffee cheerfully.  I plainly don't 'turn on' until after the noon hour!

The point here is to know yourself, to think through what to keep and what to give away (out with the old, in with the new!), and work towards a goal, however slow or frustrating it may be, so that you have accomplished something, whether it is  learning a new skill, stopping a habit, or working on a character trait.  And like you've been hearing for years now, you can do it!